EverybodyHurts by REM is playing on my music player as the clock strikes 12. and just as the song is about to end, i get a message on the phone. its the first birthday greeting i receive, and its from someone i don't want to think about anymore. damn.
guess this year's no different, just that I'm being confined within my home due to circumstances.
if i was a happy, optimistic person, my life's theme song would be "Tubthumping" by Chumbawamba. but I'm not, so too bad then.
its not my fault I'm not that happy person everyone likes. heck, i don't even give a damn about it. I'm perfectly fine the way i am, I'm not going to accept the false truths the ones in power are shoving down the people's throats. I'm not going to sit around and accept conventional norms as answers to my questions. i didn't set out to be a rebel, but i didn't choose to be the meek lamb either.
its like a clash of acute opposites, my life. work-wise, I'm all business. i know what i want, and i set myself about getting it. my targets are clearly defined, and i spare nothing to get to them. my personal life is another totally different equation altogether. its a total mess. chaos would feel right at home in my personal life. i cant, for the sake of my life, figure out what is it i want in my personal life. one minute i can be real fine and dandy being all alone, the next i would suddenly feel a yearning for someone to share my life. every time i felt like that, i find that I'm always one step too late.
i guess right now, i should be used to that feeling of being too late in my personal life.
if the days should stop renewing if everyone should stop right what they're doing if the world should stop spinning i know where I'll be probably standing
its not by your side there's no place for me to hide its not in your heart there just isn't any of my part i stand alone facing the demons of my heart i stand alone alone in the memories of the dark and i don't and i wont feel like everything I've done has gone to waste i don't want to have any regrets and i try to get by and i don't want to feel that every thing's in vain 'cos i need.... to feel.... and i don't want to have any regrets
if i should fall down on stony ground if i should shout out but there isn't any sound if i should be lost and never be found all i want to do, all i want to say, all i want is to shout these words out loud......
so what do you do when all you've got is 1 good leg?
just had my operation done on the right knee, turned out it was an ACL tear. now the knee's all bandaged up and feeling itchy and swollen. moving around on crutches aint much fun either. at least, good thing is that this injury would most probably result in a downgrade in combat status(NO MORE TO DISRUPTIVE IPPTs and ICTs!!!) to all those blardy idiots who think serving their NS is an all-encompassing, all-holy mission in life, wait till you start a hectic corporate work life and the army keeps ringing you up.
3weeks of medical leave. which means im gonna rot at home for the whole of july. not that i give a damn.
