obituary

this is it. the end of the road. closing credits. whatever schmuck you decide to call them.

i've always had the naggy sense of feeling of something that had died within me. i couldnt exactly point out what it was then. but now it seems so crystal clear to me. i've lost my drive. i've lost all motivation to succeed in anything. i've become complacent and content with what i have now. i have, in other words, become one of the masses. seems like nothing can be done to rectify this issue. and if some of you thinks i'm just taking the easy way out, well, think what you will. but when the time comes for you to do it, will you have the guts to pull it off?

at the end of the day, hey, i'd just like people to think back on me as someone who tried his best, and gave his all, that is until 1-2 years ago.... but come again, who gives a schtick about other people's opinions.















'scuse me while i go feel the breeze on the parapet...

faggots and fags

what's a smoker to do nowadays here in sunny ol' singapore?

government keeps on increasing smoke prices. used to be 2.30 for a small pack of 6 sticks. 3.50 for a pack of 10sticks and 5bucks for 20sticks. later became 5bucks for 10 and 7.50 for 20, and 6sticks pax were wiped out. next to be wiped out were the 10sticks pax. then price for a 20stick pax rose to 8.50, fell back to 5.50 before the putting on of 'graphic' elements on the cover, back to 9.50 and now its up to 11bucks. 11bucks for a pack of fags! 11bucks could last me a week outside for my meals! and if thats not enough, now the faggots in white are limiting the places where smoking is allowed. wut?! no smoke?! bloody faggots in white can increase the price of fags and not price of drinks? last i heard, drunk driving caused more death than smoking... what are they gonna do next? follow bhutan and ban smoking from the country? i guess if situation continues to worsen, i might just pack up and move off to one of the neighbouring country or if i have the dough, some place further off where the government doesnt CLOSE ONE EYE and misses out on the greater evil. they can put up a debate on whether to implement a casino before deciding but cant even seek out the relevent people's opinions on smoking?! bunch of fucked up high level pricks.

wat'cha gonna do 'bout it....punk

seems that everybody loves a rebel. or those bad boy types. guys love them because deep down, they want to be like them but most are too scared to make the drastic change. girls....i dont understand them, so lets just say nothing. but they, like me to the world, have totally no connection whatsoever to whatever i'm going to be ranting up next.

i have to state, i dont like my position now. i dont like the people here(except for the guys under me, they're my homies), i dont like the place(too far away from home), and i certainly dont like the friggin' mosquitoes here. it was tolerable at best, but even the most patient man can be pissed off if you knew where to poke. and lately, i'm starting to dislike, which would be too mild a word, for the Warrent Officers. it is awkward enough when you have a man who could be your father working under you. but when the guy starts pushing his weight around, what do you do? you give them a little respect and they start climbling all over your head.

i know not all of them are like this, but from what i see, there's only 1 or 2 who really takes their work seriously. they come to you, all nice and smiles when they need your help, but i know what goes on behind those smiles. they're probably thinking, 'stupid young punk, i was doing (insert some macho-heroic thinggy) for the country when you were still in liquid form'. and thats just one of the nicer ways of putting it. they probably think i'm just one small punk, thinking their experience puts them above anyone. and they're probably right, but they sure aint using their experience in the best possible manner.

all i can say to this is that, well, too bad you're stuck in this for life, i'm just here for another few months and i dont need this job and need to suck up to anyone to stay in this organisation. so, think what you will, stab me when i turn my back, but come 9 months, it'll be 2 fingers up to you guys from this small punk. and it sure aint gonna be the index or the pinky fingers.