lost, or am i?

Nel mezzo del cammin di nostra vita
Mi ritrovai per una selva oscura,
Che la diritta via era smarrita.

In the middle of the journey of our life I came to myself within a dark wood where the straight way was lost. (Dante's Inferno)


somehow, that seems applicable to me right now.

i guess i should have known. its hard to shake off old habits, let alone ghosts of the past. even though i've been clean for the past 4-5years (but then again, i've never had any records whatsoever.)

it could be said i had a choice, but lets face it. be a droning zombie, milling through life, slaving away for a regular pittance; or go back and risk almost everything and odds are, get more than what i would have earn in 5years with a regular deadbeat job. its not to say my job's boring, but truth is, the industry never really existed in singapore in the first place.

pay scale was always way below other sectors, government redtapes abound, no true outlets for creativity(you're only operating the software in accordance to the boss'/clients' whims), and the fact that everyone is undercutting everyone else.

when plan A fails, its natural to fall back to plan B. but when plan B doesnt really present a potential return...