confessions

almost four in the morning. cant sleep as usual. for 4 fucking weeks now.

my whole life's been a wreck for the past 2years. ever since mom was taken from me. just, like, lost all sense and meaning, all direction, all drive. dont even know what i want anymore.

dad thinks i hate studying. truth couldnt be further off. i wanted to study. hell, i wanted to read literature, do fine arts, go into typography, try sculpting, i FUCKING WANTED to study. but on my own money. it was either me or my sis. even though my grades were better, my sis put in more effort than me. she deserves dad's funding more than me. so i ended up being the family's black sheep. not that it bothers me, i'm not even on talking terms with them. hell, i'm not even on talking terms with the entire world. 

just 'cos my dad bought this terrace, all my 'friends' think im fucking loaded. im like, the resident rich kid in the gang. if i ever was in. its always like, 'you wont understand, u live on a landed property', or 'you dont have to worry about your parents', stuff like that. fucking screw them all. i dont have parents cooking for me. i cook for myself. i pay the utitlity bills. its like living in a hotel, only rent's cheaper. hell, you dont even cook when you're living in a fricking hotel.

fuck everything, i'm gonna lie on the couch and stare at the ceiling til the sun rises, again.