temper

yesterday, which was not long ago, wasn't really a bad day, but it aint a good one either. woke up late, kenged a half day off, and then went back to camp. paperwork, paperwork and more paperwork. how i hate bureaucratic administration. didnt smoke that much though today...

on the way back home, my clerk asked me why is it that i never lose my temper. haha, he should have seen me whenever i lose a game, or anything at all. but thinking bout it, it is kinda true. i rarely blow my top these days. i mean, how could i? the guys under me are what, at most 3-4years younger than me. they arent here on their own free will, i'm on the same boat as them. we're all here just to do our job, as best as we can, (though i cant speak for everyone in the organisation), and serve the nation(and our bond; some for 2yrs 4mths, others for 2yrs). i guess i'm just more at peace with myself nowadays, aint worth it to lose one's temper just because of another person's ineptness.

and yeah, 41more days to D Day NDP at Padang.....

and not to forget, 11more days to pay day, and 12 more days to being one step closer to the grave.

D-46

last 2 days were chaos at its chaotic best. hectic schedules, last minute changes, running between 2 places to supervise, and yet, its not even the big day yet.

knocking off earliest at 7 and latest and 10 is slowly becoming a norm, with the weekends going to be burnt, one could say my people are the most overworked and underpaid citizens in singapore. i think we deserve that tag for working 7days a week, 15hrs a day, with saturdays projected endtime at around 1am....

i think i need to quit my quit smoking policy....

46more days to National Day, 46more days of overworking and underappreciation, 46more days of feeding excessive tar into my lungs...

D-48

nope, that aint the new type of durian or cup size or whatever....

thats the all important timeline nowadays in my camp. 48 more days to D-Day. in this case, D-Day refers to National Day. National Day Parade...blah blah blah, what logos created and reasons, tv artists appointed as emcees, blah blah blah. any mention of the NDP would probably bring about the above mentioned thoughts. however, what it means to me and my men are weekends burnt, no rest for the weary, shitjobs handling and getting no encouragement/praise/recognition. it doesnt help that i'm in charge of providing logistical support for the VIP group(Executive Committee) and the fact that i am understaffed only rubs salt into the wound.

bah.....no one will ever understand the hard work that goes behind it, and i'm not talking about the dress rehearsals only........

funny stuff (again)

cant put the entire stuff up here... with all the copyright issue and the recent government glare over the whole blogging issue, but here's the link:

Ode to NS

regarding the issue of people getting their scholarships or whatever threatened by the big people just because of their blogs, i think its pretty stupid...

Hot

today has just got to be the damnest, hottest, freakiest day ever this year... there was absolutely no wind through out the day. its about evening now and still hot even with the fan blowing and my shirt off..

went for football this morning and couldnt just get into the groove. the weather, the perpetually-tight hamstring and shin, the ever-dry throat...i just couldnt find the rhythm to play to. to sum up everything, football today wasnt fun.

the afternoon was spent staring at this screen... at least until i remembered i still had the dvd "Enemy at the Gates" lying around somewhere, waiting to be watched until i had to return it on Tuesday. that was around 4...it took me 2hrs30mins to finish the dvd. when i got the show, i couldnt wait to tear into it. but while watching it just now, i just couldnt wait for it to end though. dont know why though...

hah! finally completed my playlist of classic rock! War's Low Rider was the last song to be downloaded..now from this day onwards, all in my office will be subjected to a re-education in classical ROCK music, regardless of their musical inclinations..bwahahahahah

dump

a little dump of nothings-of-whatsoever.

i am:

-21 approaching 22 this july, but feels like i'm at the other end of the life cycle.
-currently trying not to think about smoking, but it seems more and more difficult.
-perfectly fine all alone, yet can't seem to forget a person.
-a confused and complex person, yet with simple mind of thinking. (see what i mean by confused?)
-sane, though periodically goes through an insane and suicidal phase.
-stuck in the 80s to 90s. (i can't seem to proceed, all my music and influences seems to stop there)
-having a bad day everyday, yet seems to be alright.
-a quiet and introverted person, with some radical and outspoken views.
-still trying to find a sense of purpose in this so called life.

thats it for the dump so far, may add to this in the future...who knows

back pt2

finally...got my connection back...hurts my wallet and breaks my heart thought...

now i'm downloading songs like mad..making up for lost time i guess. but somehow, the 'net doesnt feel as familiar as i had expected. it seems absence doesnt really make the heart grow fonder...hahaha. i'm starting to drift away from the computer more and more these days, and no, its not due to the x box console (not enough money to buy new games). it seems as though the computer doesnt hold any interest for me anymore. in the past, it used to be 'my precious'. heavily modded and browsing through the net everyday to search for parts and upgrades, i couldnt wait for training to end or book out time just to use and mod my computer. nowadays, its just start up the com, load the songs into my shuffle, and then i'm pretty much clueless as to what i should do with it next. the games are old, and i've lost touch with the new games coming out or came out or whatever...

bleah, at least i got my dad's bike to take out and cycle when i'm at a loss for what to do..

speaking bout cycling, just took the bike out and cycled 2days ago. boy it felt good to stretch those legs after all the staffwork in the office. it ached at first but i guess it was due to long periods of strenuous inactivity. cycled from home to the small upslope of the serangoon garden community club (or at least what appeared to be) then downslope to boundary road, before going to upper serangoon road to hougang and then back home. it seemed a long ride but took only 45minutes. but the feeling of freedom and liberation was good. not a single care in the world, apart from the thought of a possible bus/car/truck knocking me down.

yeah, and 1 last thing.... i finally decided to quit smoking for the 3rd time...6days since i last touched one stick and counting....