election time

personally, i think singaporeans as a collective are a bunch of cowards. thats right, pampered, sheltered, cowards. look around and one will see why, especially now that the supposed election fever is upon us. the ruling party has always used carrots to intimidate the people, and one could suppose thats fair game. "Vote for us and you'll be ensured your area will be next in line for upgrading projects", and other means of attempting to weigh people's votes towards them. and what can the opposition offer? nothing. it doesnt take a NASA scientist to figure out who the people will vote for. this just goes to show what a bunch a people singaporeans are, motivated by money. you think they voted because they believe in the government? they voted because upgrading their estate will raise the value of their property, thus enabling them to be able to earn a profit when they sell their property.

singaporeans have been so brainwashed by the government that they would cheer when the government says it will hand out money and bonuses whenever the country has a healthy financial year. what? whats wrong with that? call me anything you want, but after what the government leaches from you the money through rising transportation costs, unexplainable taxes, and what not, and decides to give you back a miserly small percentage of the amount, you think thats fair? face the facts, despite publicly, the transportation services are private companies, they are still owned by the government through a fake front. so despite public complaints whenever the companies raise transport fares, the government does nothing. and why should it, when it stands to profit from these fee hikes?

perhaps i'm being too harsh, so what would happen if the opposition wins anyway? the level of opposition here doesnt stand a credibility test either. its just a facade created by the government so that it appears we have some form of democracy in this country. people are afraid of joining the opposition, whereas every year, you see the ruling party unveil new and 'promising' members. you know what i mean, the lawsuits against opposition members, brankrupting them. admittedly, some of them opposition member may have guts, but are really just damn stupid.(a certain mr chee comes to mind). so the opposition here is really just a token opposition, a face provided by the ruling party so as to deflect any criticsm of its alleged democratic system.

huh? why? how come? wtf?

no, i'm not dead. at least, not yet anyway. just been too busy, occupied with nothing and contemplating on how best to waste my life away.

quit my job, surprise surprise!! guess there wasnt much to it, but people do often make a big fuss out of this. you know, the usual "what?you quit your job?why?", or "quit for what? dont you know jobs are hard to get by these days?", or "so fast? barely 2months and you quit?", etc. and surprisingly, those comments didnt come from family members(read parents). i guess people wont understand my position unless they were in my shoes, thats all i can say.

so back i am, bumming my life away. too much time leads to too many thoughts clouding the mind, which often makes me depressive, or creative, depending on several factors. so what now? nothing much, really. went for few interviews, hooked up with my brudders for a while shortly after quitting, and then proceeding to isolate myself from the outside world, stepping out only to buy ciggies or lunch.

so anyone owning a company reading this and needing a designer(or coffee-boy, ass-kisser, boot-licker), there's this guy here who needs a decent job, except i dont do ass-kissing or boot-licking, and you can make your own coffee for all i care. so back then, onto the break that i so richly deserve!(or not)

mental state of mind

dont know why, havent been feeling alright this few days. its not physical; i'm feeling fine although there is a slight runny nose in the mornings. you could say its like that time of the year again when i get my moods; but then again, my moods arent usually that bad. its like this great big mental piece of burden that keeps growing in my mind. layman terms: i'm mentally exhausted.

perhaps its been working non-stop for the past 5-6weeks. longest record ever was 3weeks without any breaks in between; no sundays or saturdays to take things easy and forget about work. earlier, i had expressed delight in the overtimes i'm chalking up, but this is too much. everyday was work work and work, other than that, travelling time dictates that by the time i get home, its just enough for dinner, shower and if i'm really lucky(or stubborn) an hour for myself before the z monster comes. now, its kinda normal for me to chalk up a 60hr work week, which is inclusive of minimal overtime. and the government had stated last year of pushing for 40hr work weeks. yeah right, here i am, slaving away 60hrs(minimal a week) and taking home less than 1.5k a month. and they say poly students are more in demand because of their hands-on capabilities and practical experiences. thats a big "yeah right" from me right here, right now.

anyway, back to where i was, before i go on another rant. its not like i didnt go through much tougher experiences in the army, but at least there was some downtime back then. and during work, its endlessly looking, sorting, readjusting colours and designs until my eyes hurt, and i seriously wonder can one go colour blind just by looking at colours too much?

jokes aside, i go home everyday now mentally exhausted, in no mood to do anything. if you thought i was too lazy or cant make up my mind whenever anyone asked me to make a decision, well, now i have a valid excuse it seems. even on weekends, when i dont work till 6 in the evenings on saturdays and no working on sundays, i'm too tired to even call up friends and go out.

i thought it'll all turn ok when i took a sick leave yesterday just to get a whole day for me to wind down, but it doesnt appear to be working. today started off well enough, i was up early and feeling kind of refreshed, but once i got onto the bus, the exhaustion and the negativity came right back.

i think i really need a long break, either that or i'll be looking up a counsellor or pyschiatrist soon.