happier?

colleagues are telling me i look happier, more positive in the past few weeks. and giving me a good ribbing at it too.

but am i really happier? i dont really know. going by appearances, i may be smiling, joking, laughing around with friends or colleagues, but inside, i'm just really sick of everything thats going on these days. everyday, i find myself dragging myself to work. the excitement, the drive, the motivation is no longer there. i find myself putting on a mask once i step out of home. even upon reaching office, its like there's this permanent aura of "nua" in the area. i just cant focus and concentrate on doing my best. its just the same monotonous churning out of acceptables. its like me being a hypocrite.

fug....