d.e.a.t.h. and l.i.f.e

its that time again. too early, but sequence in events leading up to now was always pointing it to happen sooner than later. and the strangest thing was that it struck when i was just sitting on the parapet wall and smoking away. the trees and plants below looked so comforting. the grass didnt seem so far from up where i was sitting. i was contemplating life and death at that moment. everything was so serene. that is, until my cigeratte burned out. it could have been the flash spark to start the plunge, but thankfully for my craving for a 2nd stick, it didnt.

everything seemed crap and lousy this new year. its the lunar new year next week, everyone's looking good and happy, except me. seems like everything started on the new year on the wrong footing. it seems that i've forgotten how to smile, or what it feels like to be happy. maybe i just need to go someplace like the moon or mars or anywhere without human contact to isolate myself for a while....