new year new beginnings?
well, its the new year. another year i've made it through alive. goodness knows how long i'll last with the thoughts in my head.
new year with new beginnings. everything starts afresh. or does it? admittedly, the whole new year started off on a totally bad footing. i have overslept for the past 6 days, raining in the morning doesnt help, but thats just another excuse i'll admit. and for no reason whatsoever, i've suddenly become more angry and depressed. maybe its the thoughts of what will happen to me after my service ends later this year. the future doesnt bode well. i think i've totally shut myself off from the rest of the human world. i dont speak to my friends anymore, hell, i dont even talk to anyone, not even my family. the only solace i can take is from smoking. but i dont smoke at home, so that means i'd probably be talking 'long' walks in the middle of the night again.
and another confession. i think its about time to properly admit to this now. i'm a heavy chain smoker. after 11years of smoking(with a 2year cold turkey break in between), countless packets of marlboros, menthols, menthol lights, with the occassional cigar thrown in(smelly cheap stuff), i have grown from a social smoker to a really heavy chain smoker. i can like smoke up to 5sticks in half an hour if i'm bored or troubled, and up to 2 hard packs a day. no, i know its bad for health, my fitness is probably rock bottom now, and that it burns a very deep hole in my pockets, but i see no other alternative. i'm addicted to it. not in a normal sense of way as in craving, but whenever i'm troubled, i'd instinctively reach for the lighter and my pack of sticks.
enough of smoking. onto more serious stuff. the last year ended with a bang. the tsunami really put life in perspective. i mean, here i am, dumping stuff thats selfish all around here, and i'm not the only one, while countless people have lost their loved ones and are still suffering from the after effects. its really humbling and really puts my whole life into perspective. i mean, what are our troubles compared to the sufferings of the victims as well as those who have lost their loved ones? not to mention the families of those victims who are still missing. some people still refuse to wake up and go on whinging and griping about their personal 'sufferings'. come on, get a pair of glasses and wake up to reality guys. you're not the only one, there are worse off people than you, and right now they need our help. so quit being selfish.
new year with new beginnings. everything starts afresh. or does it? admittedly, the whole new year started off on a totally bad footing. i have overslept for the past 6 days, raining in the morning doesnt help, but thats just another excuse i'll admit. and for no reason whatsoever, i've suddenly become more angry and depressed. maybe its the thoughts of what will happen to me after my service ends later this year. the future doesnt bode well. i think i've totally shut myself off from the rest of the human world. i dont speak to my friends anymore, hell, i dont even talk to anyone, not even my family. the only solace i can take is from smoking. but i dont smoke at home, so that means i'd probably be talking 'long' walks in the middle of the night again.
and another confession. i think its about time to properly admit to this now. i'm a heavy chain smoker. after 11years of smoking(with a 2year cold turkey break in between), countless packets of marlboros, menthols, menthol lights, with the occassional cigar thrown in(smelly cheap stuff), i have grown from a social smoker to a really heavy chain smoker. i can like smoke up to 5sticks in half an hour if i'm bored or troubled, and up to 2 hard packs a day. no, i know its bad for health, my fitness is probably rock bottom now, and that it burns a very deep hole in my pockets, but i see no other alternative. i'm addicted to it. not in a normal sense of way as in craving, but whenever i'm troubled, i'd instinctively reach for the lighter and my pack of sticks.
enough of smoking. onto more serious stuff. the last year ended with a bang. the tsunami really put life in perspective. i mean, here i am, dumping stuff thats selfish all around here, and i'm not the only one, while countless people have lost their loved ones and are still suffering from the after effects. its really humbling and really puts my whole life into perspective. i mean, what are our troubles compared to the sufferings of the victims as well as those who have lost their loved ones? not to mention the families of those victims who are still missing. some people still refuse to wake up and go on whinging and griping about their personal 'sufferings'. come on, get a pair of glasses and wake up to reality guys. you're not the only one, there are worse off people than you, and right now they need our help. so quit being selfish.
posted by boredphuck at 1:04 am
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