too much time

all of a sudden, it seems that i have too much time on my hands. and i'm at a loss of what to do with it. life before was just only about the weekends, juggling personal time with social meetings with friends all within the space of less than 48hours. now i have the entire week's night worth of personal time as well as the full 48hours of the weekend, i just dont know what to do. this peculiar situation has messed up my bio clock as well as my daily routines. hopefully, i'll get used to this as soon as possible.

other issues:

d*mn, 3.41 am and i'm still here. can't believe it. i still cant sleep. even though i slept at 6am the previous day and woke up at 10am. i dont feel tired, yet i dont feel hyper active. maybe its because there's so many things on my mind these days.

i don't know, but these days i'm starting to feel older than i am. i think i'm growing more and more world-weary as the days go by. life just doesnt hold the same interest for me anymore. there's nothing significant to look forward to these days. contemplations of self mortality are abound. everything thats going on around me seems so mundane...so insignificant... maybe i need a change of environment, but sadly, that wont happen anytime soon. unless the government suddenly decides to cut all service terms to end by the new year and decides to give out big bonuses to pay me off.

still thinking about the strange little feeling called love. maybe its just something thats not meant for me. maybe i'm destined to wander through the world alone. not that i mind being alone, just that sometimes, its nice to have some soothing prescence around. i really miss my grandma...

thats it for now...i guess....