some things stuck on my mind at the moment

transition. we're always going through some form of it. from babies to childhood. from innocence to jaded. it seems that the only constant is change. yet, somehow, i feel like i have been stuck at this phase for a long time. there's no progress, or any form of positive change. that is, unless you count smoking more sticks a day as a notable change.

brief history here. i start my first puff back in primary school when i was 11. casual smoker then, only smoked when my friends offered me. secondary school, i became a social smoker. packs were cheap then, and there were small packs of 6. i went cold turkey for 2years when i was 15. some habits die hard i guess. now that i'm in the army, i dont know why, but i've become a chain smoker. once the first stick is out, there's no stopping me. you could say that cigarettes are the only constant companion in my life. unlike some friends, they're always there when i need them; unless i'm out of cold hard cash to buy. i know i'm deluding myself. but heck, to hell with it.

my friends remarked to me one day that my dressing was always the same. some say i'm too lok cok, too shabby. hehe. thats the way i am, i guess. i just cant be bothered. i dont have a fashion sense. i dont have the money to buy new clothes everyday. as long as its decent, its ok with me. i see no point in dressing up. even if i had the money, i'm too lazy to shop for clothes.

i have so many thoughts that comes to mind, but i just cant be bothered to list them down now. some other time p'raps.