the other side
the grass is greener on the other side...
so goes the saying. in my opinion, that phrase doesnt refer to current or future references, but rather the past. think about it, whenever you think back on the past, you think of how much fun there was, how enjoyable it was, and none of the previous fuck-ups would ever come to your thoughts. you think of the good old times you've enjoyed in the past, reminiscing about the fun you've had, of all the friends you've made, lamenting all the lost opportunities("if only..."), but you wouldnt think of all the troubles that you've encountered, the bad experiences and sad encounters. so in a sense, its still the same, whether it refers to the past, present or future; you'd look at the other side, and see only the good things, turning a blind eye to the bad things.
being without a computer for the past 2 weeks was a refreshing change. not being stuck in front of a monitor and computer equates to having a lot more time doing nothing. at first, it felt strange and alien. after all, apart from being in the first 1 and a half years in the army, my past 5years were spent in front of a computer most of the time. if anyone knows me, they'd know that whenever i'm bored, my mind usually wanders about anything and everything, and usually, i'd think of the past. thinking back on all my past mistakes, my past experiences, its like a part of my mind going through everything at warp speed, but the rest of the brain is still stuck in the medieval age and trying to catch up. i'd think of so many things and then, a few seconds later, i'm struggling to recall what i was thinking about.
there were a lot of things going through my brain, but i could only grab a few and remember it for a short time only. when i was young, i was the complete opposite of what i am today. i was optimistic and happy all of the time. the only thing that frightened me back then was thinking of death. now, i'm a pessimistic and lousy company to be with; you'd be lucky if you could get 5 non-pessimistic sentences out of me in a conversation.
another big difference was photographs. as a kid, i used to look forward whenever my dad or mom would take out the camera. i would act out all those super hero poses and imagine myself to be a famous and powerful figure, usually superman. even when i had to share the picture taking with my siblings, i would try to be the centre of attention. now, you wouldnt find me in any photographs. the most recent photo i remember having my face was those my parents took of me on commissioning parade. even those, i took grudgingly. then there were the pictures taken at the commissioning ball, which i'm thankful that sharlene didnt manage to extract before returning the camera to her faraway friend. i dont know why, but now, i dont like being in pictures. cant explain it, just like the reason i'm downcast and pessimistic most of the time.
my brain just died on me again, so that means i'm empty of thoughts or the thoughts are just going too fast for me to catch.
so goes the saying. in my opinion, that phrase doesnt refer to current or future references, but rather the past. think about it, whenever you think back on the past, you think of how much fun there was, how enjoyable it was, and none of the previous fuck-ups would ever come to your thoughts. you think of the good old times you've enjoyed in the past, reminiscing about the fun you've had, of all the friends you've made, lamenting all the lost opportunities("if only..."), but you wouldnt think of all the troubles that you've encountered, the bad experiences and sad encounters. so in a sense, its still the same, whether it refers to the past, present or future; you'd look at the other side, and see only the good things, turning a blind eye to the bad things.
being without a computer for the past 2 weeks was a refreshing change. not being stuck in front of a monitor and computer equates to having a lot more time doing nothing. at first, it felt strange and alien. after all, apart from being in the first 1 and a half years in the army, my past 5years were spent in front of a computer most of the time. if anyone knows me, they'd know that whenever i'm bored, my mind usually wanders about anything and everything, and usually, i'd think of the past. thinking back on all my past mistakes, my past experiences, its like a part of my mind going through everything at warp speed, but the rest of the brain is still stuck in the medieval age and trying to catch up. i'd think of so many things and then, a few seconds later, i'm struggling to recall what i was thinking about.
there were a lot of things going through my brain, but i could only grab a few and remember it for a short time only. when i was young, i was the complete opposite of what i am today. i was optimistic and happy all of the time. the only thing that frightened me back then was thinking of death. now, i'm a pessimistic and lousy company to be with; you'd be lucky if you could get 5 non-pessimistic sentences out of me in a conversation.
another big difference was photographs. as a kid, i used to look forward whenever my dad or mom would take out the camera. i would act out all those super hero poses and imagine myself to be a famous and powerful figure, usually superman. even when i had to share the picture taking with my siblings, i would try to be the centre of attention. now, you wouldnt find me in any photographs. the most recent photo i remember having my face was those my parents took of me on commissioning parade. even those, i took grudgingly. then there were the pictures taken at the commissioning ball, which i'm thankful that sharlene didnt manage to extract before returning the camera to her faraway friend. i dont know why, but now, i dont like being in pictures. cant explain it, just like the reason i'm downcast and pessimistic most of the time.
my brain just died on me again, so that means i'm empty of thoughts or the thoughts are just going too fast for me to catch.
posted by boredphuck at 1:13 pm
1 Comments:
My current job just taking instructions. A complete reverse of what I used to be in my unit. Feeling's strange but still able to adapt. But just wondering will I be senile faster in this manner as I need not think through, just take instructions and execute!!!
=P
Post a Comment
<< Home