finale 2005

so here's my last post of 2005.

iraq's conquered, saddam's on trial, chelsea's gonna win the EPL, Lennon's No.1 again in British charts, and the year's gonna come to an end with everyone save me partying at Sentosa/Fort Canning/Ministry of Sound/Zouk/and who knows where else. so where do i fit in this grand scale of events over the soon-to-be past year?

let me recount...my memory's as good as how many sticks i smoked for the past 5minutes, so this could take a while.

2005's been a pretty bad year, not personally though. (personally, every year's a bad year unless its the year i die) not much happy tidings throughout the year, but at least its over. for now. sometimes, i wonder if its possible to kill oneself with his own pessimism. thought through my year, and it seems the only points of note were the NDP and leaving the service.

NDP, celebration of the nation's biggest day and the culmination of 1year's worth of preparation. i dont know how much vulgarities i spewed and how many cigerettes i smoked doing the thankless and un-noticeable jobs i do to keep the EXCO running, but it sure as hell was a lot more than last year(2004). personally, the NDPs have grown distinctively less exciting after i entered poly. its just another public holiday for me to stay at home. but after this year's NDP, i can safely say that, "to hell with all the big hoo-ha". those who had been with me throughout the whole shennanigan would know what i meant. waste of time, waste of money(a few thousand? tax payers' money burning up in the night sky), waste of food, what more can be said about it?

recieving back my pink IC. taken away upon entering the service, and replaced with a green replacement. well, at least the green card saves time and breathe whenever i go buy cigerettes at the local 7-11. all throughout the 2yrs and 4mnths in service, i had been looking towards the day i get my pink IC back. every torturous climb through the taiwan mountains, every cold night in Brunei, every snide remarks and backstabbing comments from supposed peers and 'friends', i just kept saying to myself 'once i get that card, it'll all be over'. how true, it turned out. all over, no more army talks, no more argueing with the stupid OC and the other senior officers, no more looking out for my boys. and just as sad, no more fuel for my bile, no more drive to prove someone wrong, and no more targets to meet. i've been taking it easy for the past 2months ever since getting that pink IC back. hell, i haven't even seen it ever since i put it inside my wallet after recieving it back. somehow, whenever i'm asked for identification, i always pull out the green card. dont ask me, dont know why.

so that sums up my year, pretty 'dramatic' isnt it? if only every year was like that, i could really kill myself with the bile and pessimism that was built up during the whole year.

and so, here's to 2005. what doesnt kill you makes you stronger, it's said. well, i'm still alive and kicking, so there's something. onto 2006 then...

Oasis
Live Forever
from Definately Maybe

Maybe I don't really want to know
How your garden grows
I just want to fly
Lately did you ever feel the pain
In the morning rain
As it soaks it to the bone

Maybe I just want to fly
I want to live I don't want to die
Maybe I just want to breath
Maybe I just don't believe
Maybe you're the same as me
We see things they'll never see
You and I are gonna live forever

Maybe I don't really want to know
How your garden grows
I just want to fly
Lately did you ever feel the pain
In the morning rain
As it soaks it to the bone

Maybe I will never be
All the things that I want to be
But now is not the time to cry
Now's the time to find out why
I think you're the same as me
We see things they'll never see
You and I are gonna live forever
We're gonna live forever
Gonna live forever
Live forever
Forever